“Hun? Oh. Het. Busy here … give me a few minutes.”


“Hum never mind.”

crawls back out of a large iron shell

“What was it you wanted to know? My backstory? What kinda of damn fool question is that? Do you stalk everybody about their backstory or am I just special? Can’t you see I’m busy here?

Oh? What am I making? Well this is actually an improvement on a previous design. From when I worked at the inn. Yup fun times. Uluvin wasn’t the greatest place to find gadgets, but it was way better than the Bargewright Inn where I landed. Lots of trade there. And traders came through all the time! Those guys can be tempermental sometimes (Like that time I set Ol’Griff’s beard on fire. Was he grouchy then! Griff the Gruff I used to call ‘im.) But you can always count on them to have new stuff. Got to be known as the Fix-It of the place. Sometimes people would even let me make improvements on the stuff they brought in. Would use money from fixing stuff to fund my inventions.

Like my Bread Maker. Would combine all the ingredients, kneed the dough, let it rise and then put it in the oven- all automagically! It works really well too! Could even do multiple loafs at once! Why, there was one night when the Automagic Cycler malfunctioned and it made 500 loafs of bread in 6 hours! Talk about cool! Well some of the later loafs were a bit off… but that was just because it had to get creative with ingredients.

Actually I used a very similar mechanism with my Copy Machine. Well.. I thought I’d fixed the glitch on the Automagic Cycler.. and I had. It’s just that when I tried to increase the copying speed the Cycler burned out which ended with the same effect. It did copy every book in that section of the library though—just into every other book in that section of the library. You shoulda seen the look on Professor Tylor Hilvenor’s face! It was redder than burning strontium carbonate!

Uluvin? No. No. This was in Kheldell. I had to leave the inn after the Furnace repair incident. Well.. um that. See I had hooked up the common room fire (which was also connected to the kitchens) to a delivery system for the whole inn. It worked really really well too. But over the summer between just general wear and occasional minor.. disturbances… the fittings must have loosened. The next winter I just was never able to get it right again. I was applying insulation to the pipes when something must have gotten clogged. Well long story short I woulda noticed the smell if I hadn’t been visiting my friends Ogmi and Norvi down at the Griff’s Scarps. They’d always let me go through boxes of new scrap for gears and springs. Much cheaper than going to traders.. and I didn’t have a lot of money back then. Anyway long story short pressurized fuel and a spark in the wrong place meant the inn suddenly needed a new roof. Mistress Baerlatha Luruin ended up chasing me out with a broom – even after I told her about the idea I had for fixing the roof!

Speaking of holes in roofs, that reminds me of when I left Waterdeep. Well see Waterdeep is really a great place. Amazing! You should see all the things people come up with at the Academy! And there were vats of boxes for parts. None of this having to salvage parts from old machines… though we did that too. But yeah. vats and vats of gadgety goodness. And steel reinforced walls. Very convenient. But there’s no creativity. Gran-Pop said that before Croncor took over, Waterdeep had a spark to it. People could work on whatever they wanted.. whenever they wanted. Creativity was everywhere. Just walking down the street.. (well I never walked down the street in those days.. I had a Go Faster device.) The streets just buzzed with creativity…

20 minutes of rambling conversation later …

So that’s how I got here. Been working at one of the Magic Essence Factories ever since. Though I’ve been helping out here whenever I can. That’s what this thing is here. An Automated Brewing Machine. Just put some barley and yeast in at the beginning and wait a while and you’ve got beer. Though I’m having trouble keeping it from leaking.. and it sours the whole batch if any air gets in there. I’ll get it right eventually. Though I’m meeting with some people tonight, and I think they might be wanting me to work on something out of town. Won’t be able to bring this thing with me if that happens. That’s why I’ve got to finish it before then.

So you can see. Very busy here. Don’t you have someone else to pester about their backstory?


Rise of the Fallen God alvonwald alvonwald